Sunday, May 4, 2014

Awkward Gyno, Vol. 3

For those of you who have been following my stories about my many awkward encounters with my OBGYN doc, this one may take the cake...

I'll first start out by saying it's always his initial first look at me that sets a precedent for the awkwardness that's clearly going to happen: whenever he sees me, he looks genuinely surprised. Perplexed actually. It's not uncomfortable; it's just weird -- like, is it really that surprising when we see each other at your office? It's not like we're running into each other at a bar (I would die).

As I mentioned before, I was at the doctor's to get an IUD put in. They were running really far behind in their appointments, but Syd and I were fine hanging out - until she decided it was the perfect time for her once-every-other-day poos. I asked to use an empty room to change her, and as I was walking back I passed my doctor.

Dr. B. [with a genuinely shocked look on his face]: Oh! Sarah? Am I seeing you today?

Me [in my head]: You look so much like the NCIS guy.

Me [in real life]: Yes, I'm getting that IUD today.

Dr. B.: Oh, so I'm really seeing you today.

Me [totally caught off-guard]: ........Yeah.

There were a few more awkward things that were said during my appointment, but this was above and beyond:

Me: So how soon after the removal of an IUD can you get pregnant? [Yes, thinking of Baby #2 already, grandparents!]

Dr. B.: Oh, like 1-2, maybe 3, months after. It's pretty quick, so once you remove it you'll want to be fully prepared to get pregnant again just in case. I'ts not like the Depo [Provera] shot, where it takes about a year to leave your system. That's what we have our 16-year-old on because...well, we're not really sure what she's doing in her spare time, so if she forgets to get it done we're pretty safe for a while.

Me: What?

Dr. B.: Yeppp, I'm too young to be a grandpa.

. . . okay.

It's actually not as bad as I'm making it seem, though. I mean, yes, the awkwardness is 100% there, but I'm beginning to really embrace the awkwardness, and I do really like him -- he's a great doctor, I trust him, and now I think he's hilarious.

I see him again in a few weeks (a follow-up appointment for the IUD procedure), so I'm sure I'll have more stories then. Oh, and the procedure went fine.

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